It’s been two weeks and I keep replaying the conversation. “I don’t want to marry you, it’s over.” I am amazed how a few simple words can have such a profound impact on my life. In minutes, my six years of happiness with XBF disappeared right before my eyes. How can something that I thought was so special simply come to a screeching halt? How does a person to whom you’ve spoken every day for the past 6 years suddenly become a stranger? How long has he known he doesn’t want to marry me? What did I do wrong? Does he still love me? Did he ever love me?
I will probably never know the answers to these questions so I guess I need to start asking myself some new ones. Was I truly happy with him? Did I resent him for all of the sacrifices I made for our relationship? Can I ever forgive him for the turmoil he’s put me through? Did I really find his shaved head attractive? Do I still love him? Did I ever love him? But even these questions are difficult to answer (well except for the last two, I obviously have always and still do love him). Hopefully throughout this journey of piecing together my broken heart, I will be able to answer these questions fully and honestly.
For now, I think I just need to stick to the easy questions. Do I need that striped Kate Spade tote? Yes. Should I really have martini number 4? Absolutely!
Heartbreak with Humor 
you DO need that cute striped bag, AND as many martinis (chocolate ones, maybe with a scoop of ice cream in them) as your heart desires!! give yourself some time to digest what has, and is continuing to happen. the answers will eventually reveal themselves. and you are going to be stronger, wiser, and happier for having survived all of it. XOXO — cod