Dorothy was full of shit.

I would never describe myself as a homebody. In fact, I think most of my friends would agree that I am hardly ever at home, spending most weekends traveling for friends, family or just plain fun. And while I have always enjoyed my travels, I could always empathize with Dorothy when she clicked her heels repeating, “there’s no place like home.” I’ve always liked the idea of coming home to my own bed, my precious dog and my doting boyfriend (ok, let’s be honest, he was NEVER doting). So as I sat on the edge of the bed in my hotel room in Boston nearing a panic attack at the mere thought of going home, I realized those things I that I had always looked forward to were no longer there. I had no boyfriend, my parents have my dog while I’m in Boston and I don’t think that I’ve even put the sheets on my bed since I moved in.

The thought of going home to an empty apartment overwhelmed me as I sat on the plane reading my new self-help book (very thankful for the discretion afforded by an iPad!). I took a cab from the Columbus Airport for the first time in my life and entered my empty apartment and faced my new reality…intense loneliness.

Little did I know, I wasn’t alone. Hundreds of gnats had infested my apartment during my two week absence. Leaving that banana on my counter was apparently a bad idea. Awesome. Not only did I have my neurotic thoughts and overactive imagination keeping me up at night, I now had tiny gnats buzzing in my ear, mocking me and my pathetic situation.

My trip home wasn’t all bad, though. I met up with a few friends (god bless liquid lunches), made out with a 24 year old (more on that later, if I can remember) and even found a little clarity amongst all of this chaos (you’ve inspired me CK!). However, as I headed to the airport on Sunday, I found myself longing to get back to Boston. But it wasn’t Boston for which I was necessarily longing, I just couldn’t wait to get  the hell out of Columbus. While the friendly distractions were nice, the intense memories were almost unbearable. I met my ex the day after I graduated from law school and had built my entire adult life in Columbus with him. This city that I had always found so charming, all of the sudden felt like a prison.

As I walked into my hotel in Boston, surrounded by unfamiliar faces, I realized that Dorothy was full of shit. There are so many places better than home and if I were her, I would’ve just stayed in Oz. After all, it was full munchkins, gay men and all of the bitches were dead! Here’s to finding my Oz!