When my ex and I broke up last summer, I assumed that very bad things would happen to him and he’d be a miserable human for the rest of his life. After all, he cheated on me, shattered my heart and killed my soul. Admittedly, his epic demise was all I yearned for in the weeks (ok, months) following our break-up. But instead of suffering from third degree burns on his junk, my ex found a new girlfriend, immediately. What? How could this be? Who (besides me) could love this selfish man who had stone cold heart and a giant head that resembled a thumb? Why did he get to spend his summer golfing, boating and happy, while I sat in a hotel room, sobbing, panicking and miserable? I had always thought Karma was a bitch and she would repay my ex in spades. Apparently she was too busy blissfully enjoying her summer to impose a painful case of herpes on my ex. The injustice was almost too much to bear.
There was a slight shift in the cosmic universe when my ex’s new girlfriend ended up being a little cray cray and moved to Colorado to cohabitate with a new man. A minor, performance improvement by my girl Karma, but where was the real tragedy in his life? Where was that utter heartbreak or severely disfiguring accident? It was a noticeable and unjustified absence. And to top it off, my ex got a new girlfriend, seemingly normal and dare I say, cute!
At some point last fall, I realized I was too busy being a Bitter Betty (and crazy and obsessive and downright awful) to achieve the same luck my ex had. I could no longer rely on Karma for my happiness and needed to grab life by the balls in order to reach peace and success in my life. And I did just that.
I earned a significant promotion at work was recognized as an emerging leader in the company. I felt a sense of accomplishment that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I ran in one of the world’s toughest marathons and finished it feeling strong and without regret. I had made an amazing group friends who have stood up for me in a way that those lost in the past never would. I’ve traveled to Big Sur, San Diego, Colorado Springs, DC, Chicago and Vegas, making new memories while “those other ones” faded.
But most importantly, I met the most incredible man I could have ever imagined. I’ve spent the last 8 months in the healthiest, most loving relationship in which I’ve ever been. I’ve found my partner, soulmate and very best friend (gag, barf, puke, I know).
I realize that maybe Karma didn’t let me down after all. While she didn’t bestow a life altering meth/gambling/hooker addiction upon my ex, she was just too busy making good things happen for me. I am on the receiving end of good Karma and it is far better than wishing the bad kind upon my ex. While I can’t quite say I wish my ex the best in life (i’m not THAT enlightened) I no longer wish ill upon his genitals. Well except for…nah, not worth it.
Heartbreak with Humor 