After many restless nights, sleepless mornings and flat-out shitty days, I am finally on the upswing. I am once again enjoying life and making plans for my future (stay tuned). Despite this regained optimism, I still find myself battling nostalgia, romanticizing even the most mundane aspects of my former relationship. In an effort to maintain my positive momentum, I find it necessary to remind myself of some of my ex’s “finer moments,” which illustrate that I truly dodged a bullet…big time.
I fully admit that I am a woman with a healthy appetite. I’m a marathoner and I’m hungry, a lot! I enjoy a good meal and become visibly agitated when such meal is denied or otherwise delayed. I am not the type of person to pretend I am not hungry and then sit in my car stuffing my face with m&m’s. Instead, I will indulge in an entire bag quite publicly and rather proudly (and then go for a 5 mile run to work it off!).
My voracious appetite did not go unnoticed by my ex. What started out as innocent teasing, turned into incessant jabs at my mere mentioning of food. Suggesting brunch would send him into a wild frenzy of giggles and insults. He went so far as to nickname me the “hungry hungry hippo.” Any protests to this nickname only fueled his fire. He would email me photos of hippos, dvr specials on hippos and he even bought me this for my birthday:
Dick.
I can take a joke and Ieven laughed at some of his antics. Afterall, any attention was better than no attention, right? But this fourth grade mentality became particularly bothersome because it played to my biggest insecurity…my weight. He knew I was self-conscious about my size but continued to berate me all in the name of a “joke.” But no one found him particularly funny. In fact, several people told me they felt uncomfortable when he would speak to me that way. I will never know why he found putting me down so damn amusing, although I can take a guess.
But you know what? The joke’s on him. I ran into him a few weeks ago and it seems as of late, he really has been all that hungry hungry.
Heartbreak with Humor 