It’s been two weeks and I keep replaying the conversation. “I don’t want to marry you, it’s over.” I am amazed how a few simple words can have such a profound impact on my life. In minutes, my six years of happiness with XBF disappeared right before my eyes. How can something that I thought was so special simply come to a screeching halt? How does a person to whom you’ve spoken every day for the past 6 years suddenly become a stranger? How long has he known he doesn’t want to marry me? What did I do wrong? Does he still love me? Did he ever love me?
I will probably never know the answers to these questions so I guess I need to start asking myself some new ones. Was I truly happy with him? Did I resent him for all of the sacrifices I made for our relationship? Can I ever forgive him for the turmoil he’s put me through? Did I really find his shaved head attractive? Do I still love him? Did I ever love him? But even these questions are difficult to answer (well except for the last two, I obviously have always and still do love him). Hopefully throughout this journey of piecing together my broken heart, I will be able to answer these questions fully and honestly.
For now, I think I just need to stick to the easy questions. Do I need that striped Kate Spade tote? Yes. Should I really have martini number 4? Absolutely!
Heartbreak with Humor 